Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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