Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize