One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I need to sanitize my soul.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
