Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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