i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
