i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
