If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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