Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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