pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
