To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
