I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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