There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
