haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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