i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
