Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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