Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
