But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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