Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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