This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
