We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
