That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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