Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
