I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize