sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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