I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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