Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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