You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
