Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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