Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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