Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
