the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
