Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam

(212): View more from New York

enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.

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(206): View more from Washington

She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.

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