Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I currently don't understand fingers.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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