if you like me you must not know who I am
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
