Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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