It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
