after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
