he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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