i would punch a child for taco bell
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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