I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
