If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
