Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
this will be a night to untag.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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