Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
