Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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