obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
