For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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