Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
