Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
