why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
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