What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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