i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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