remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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