please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I believe in your delicious
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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