All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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