she looked like the before picture.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
