I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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