Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
