Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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