just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
