I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
