And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
