their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
