Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
