I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Green mimosas i think yes
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize