So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
