I'm so fucking centered right now
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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