so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
