On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
